A couple years ago I wrote a post about how I see moms in public and automatically assume ‘she’s got this.’ Basically I admitted that I see strangers and believe THEY inherently know what they’re doing, but I seem to second guess all of my own parenting decisions. My cousin left a comment on that post (she has a little one Colin’s age):
“I remember too many times crying at home saying “I have no idea what I’m doing!” and thinking for some reason all the other moms had secret manuals telling them all the “right” ways to do things. Finally, a friend of mine told me that no mom really knows what they’re doing and it really helped.”
My cousin is a fantastic mom. Hearing those words ‘no mom really knows what they’re doing’ from HER was my ‘ah ha!’ moment. Duh, of course no mom really has all the answers. If there was a secret manual, wouldn’t you receive it when you leave the hospital? Why did it take me almost a whole year of being a mom to realize that NO ONE has an answer key?!
Recently I asked a friend who’d just welcomed her third child how the transition was going… she said the hardest thing was that ‘everyone assumes I know what I’m doing because I have three kids now. But I still have no idea!’ Another mom I totally admire, admitting she was winging it. That even with three kids there was still no answer key.
no one really knows what they’re doing
Really think about those words. That means the mom who is always ‘put together’ at school drop off… doesn’t know more than you. The mom at the playground with the children who never fight… doesn’t know more than you. The mom with the home that’s always sparkling clean when you visit… doesn’t know more than you. The mom throwing the birthday party that makes Pinterest jealous… doesn’t know more than you. Heck, even Beyonce doesn’t know more than you when it comes to being a mom!
Truly understanding that no one really knows what they’re doing lifted a weight from my shoulders. It broke down the ugly competitive walls and lifted my self confidence. I only wish someone told me sooner!